A famous philosophical argument suggests the only absolute truth is that there are no absolute truths. However, claiming this itself is an absolute statement, which leads to a logical contradiction.
Just as the Ferengi found it necessary to codify the Rules of Acquisition, so must we now begin to enshrine the Absolute Truths.
These Truths should be classified as either major Absolutes (ABS) or minor Absolutes (aBS).
Let us begin.
aBS1 - If i get any lazier, i will be too lazy to get lazier. See note… See More
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Note 1. At that level of extreme inertia, you've essentially created a perfect paradox: you've hit a peak efficiency of doing absolutely nothing.
I once wanted to be a stand up comedian.
My wife said I was so lazy I'd be the first Sit-down Comedian.
I said nope... there's this lady from the UK who describes herself as 'wobbly', (She has Cerable Palsy?) - she's the world's first!
She asked what joke would be my opener.
I said what about that one?
She said see? You're so lazy, you can't even come up with original material!
I'm still working on a comeback. I'll get around to one day.
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